If you struggle with Anger or if you are on the receiving end of someone's Anger, then you know that Anger destroys relationships.
Being hurt emotionally by Anger is real. The damage penetrates deeply into someone's soul. It wounds it, and then walls go up, and relationships become strained, and never the same, without getting Anger under control and showing people that you really have changed. Then, you can rebuild what your Anger destroyed.
There is Help and Hope for dealing with your Anger!
You may be Angry and lash out at your loved ones, friends, coworkers, or even strangers. If you have been told that “you have Anger issues," you probably do, in that you have problems controlling your Anger and de-escalating your circumstances that trigger an outburst.
Like you, I had a hard time dealing with my Anger. I would lash out at my children especially. I would rage and "go off" over stupid stuff. Really, I'm quite ashamed of that behavior, but I can talk about it openly and honestly, in the hope that it will give you Hope that you too can Overcome your struggles with Anger.
You see, when it comes to Anger, it's not about them, it's about you. You have the problem. They are not the problem. They may trigger your problem, but they are not the problem. When you rage and behave poorly, your self control is lacking. We need to find out why you are so Angry and so easily Angered.
Since it's a you thing and not a them thing, the good news is that you can change. The ball is in your court.
What do I mean?
When life becomes out of Control because situations and people are out of our Control, a lot of us get Angry. We are in bad relationships or bad marriages, have bad bosses, have badly behaving children, have bad lives, bad parents, and bad attitudes. We are not in Control of others and how they directly affect our lives, and that makes us out of Control, and boy do we act like it.
How do we respond? We respond with Anger. We unleash all that tension and frustration that has been building up, by saying and doing things that hurt others and ourselves, which we later regret.
It feels SO good to rage and lash out, doesn't it? It's an emotional high. It feels good to let them have it and give them a piece of our minds. You see and hear yourself behaving poorly, but can't stop because it feels so good to get that Anger out. You really are out of Control. Your Anger is in Control though, because you've given in to it and are allowing Anger to run rampant, all because it feels so good to do so.
You've met someone that gets it, and you've also met someone that changed and Anger no longer gets the better of me and hurts the ones I love.
Part of it was Coping Skills and Healthy Boundaries to fix what I could, part of it was Communicating that I was Angry and needed space, and the final part was Prayer, for God to give me more patience and tolerance and to help me quit raging and lashing out.
I was not in Control of my life's circumstances. I had too many people involved in my life that directly affected it and were affecting it in negative ways.
At first I was Depressed, then Anxious, then became Angry and would rage when I had my limit.
My limit was more easily met when I was tired, not feeling well, worn out, stressed out, over worked and under appreciated, and just doing and carrying too much.
When I was at my limit, I raged and behaved poorly, rather than saying much earlier- I need help. I need you to pull your weight. I can't do this by myself. I need you to change. I need... fill in the blank.
I raged and behaved poorly rather than saying- I am Angry and upset and need some space. I need to be alone until I am not so Angry. I don't want to say or do something inappropriate, so please give me some space right now.
I raged and behaved poorly, rather than saying- I surrender. I give up Control of my life and place it in your hands Father. Whatever happens is OK, because You've got this, not me. The outcome is not in my hands, nor is it my responsibility, and I’m OK with that.
I raged and behaved poorly rather than saying- I need help Lord. I need more peace, patience, and tolerance with these people and situations. I need the Fruit of the Spirit called SELF CONTROL. I need Your Help!
I no longer rage and behave poorly, but I surely could at certain times. I choose not to. I live in Self Control and live in Surrender. I gave up my ability to Control my life, and handed over the reins to Jesus. I also became exceedingly FLEXIBLE, patient, and tolerant.
You can too! There is Hope and Help for struggling with Anger!
We can Overcome Anger Together!
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