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I’m so sorry for what's happened to you.
It's not your fault.
It's going to be OK.
When my children and I escaped from Domestic Violence, I so desperately needed to hear those 3 things, and so, I say them to you Dear One.
Domestic Violence and Abuse is never your fault.
Read that again, until you get that. Let that be your inner voice until you believe it.
Domestic Abuse is complicated in that it involves many forms of Abuse- physical, verbal, emotional, psychological, sexual, financial, and stalking. It can occur at any age, from infants to the elderly.
We can all google Domestic Abuse and Domestic Violence, and gain a wealth of knowledge. I'm not here to give statistics and common risk factors. I'm here to encourage you that Healing from this form of Abuse is possible for yourself and your children and family.
I suffered for so many years from the fallout of Abuse. Most of my childhood abuse was verbal and emotional, by my family and peers. By today's standards, it was physical as well. I was also sexually abused by my step father. If you were sexually abused, please also read the page specifically for that.
Words and actions hurt far worse than any slap ever will. They wound our very souls. Recognizing that Abuse is Abuse, is your first step. Do not downplay it. Society and Abusers do. You're here for a Truth encounter. Abuse is Abuse.
When those that are supposed to love us and care for us, instead degrade us and put us down, and hurt our minds and bodies and souls, we lose our value and self worth, and we lose hope and trust, in ourselves and others. I'm here to help you regain what was lost, and rebuild your mind and life.
We carry our wounds from Abuse, from childhood through adulthood. Our warped sense of what is appropriate and our broken identity, set us up for more abuse. It's like we carry a target on our backs.
My family wondered how I, a college educated, strong willed, determined young woman, could have been in an abusive relationship for almost 10 years. I sometimes wonder that myself.
My answer is simple- Grooming.
Abusive relationships don’t usually start out as a blatant slap the face, or we wouldn’t stay in them. They are cunning and devised, to slowly condition you to abuse, until one day you wake up and wonder how on earth you got to that place in your life, and wonder who you are anymore.
Anyone can be the victim of abuse. Anyone, including a colleague educated, strong willed, determined young woman.
After my children and myself escaped through a secret family rescue, I dealt with PTSD, nightmares, many sleepless nights, euphoria, child tantrums and defiance, family relationship problems, and a general sense of hypervigilance and fear of my children being kidnapped, and everyone being collateral damage, if that were to happen.
It wasn’t until a Christian Counselor spoke to me, that I was able to let go of that kind of fear. She told me something that profoundly changed my outlook and constant looking over my shoulder. She told me that I didn’t have to hide in a cave like David in the Bible did, as he was fleeing for his life from King Saul. God would hide me out in the open.
That Truth set me free.
You see, only God can set us emotionally and mentally free. Freedom is a Truth encounter. When He sets us free on the inside, our outer circumstances in life no longer matter. With freedom comes inner peace.
Dear one, I have a special place in my heart to help you Overcome your struggle with Domestic Violence and Abuse.
You do not have to suffer in silence!
I just want to say that to you again and shout it from a rooftop!
The #1 thing our abusers take from us is our voice. You have a God given right to a voice and a legal right to a voice. I’m here to help you get your voice back, and use it. That begins with telling your story. That is your first step in Healing.
We will then unpack the years of abuse, and why and how you got there. We can break unhealthy patterns that attract abusers to you, and God will also set you free from that.
You will learn to be empowered. You will be a victim no more! You will learn who you are in a new way- You will learn your Identity in Christ. You are so cherished, loved, and adored by the one that created you. You are beautiful. You are strong and courageous. You are the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. You are no victim. You are not used up. You are not worthless. You are worthy!
I’m here to help. I care so deeply for you.
We can Overcome Domestic Violence and Abuse Together!
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